1. Doctors at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia are now prescribing Viagra for some of their patients because:
a) it helps those with heart problems;
b) it lowers blood pressure;
c) it facilitates circulation of the blood; or
d) what nine-year-old boy wouldn’t want a longer-lasting erection?
2. The U.S. secretary of defense opened all combat jobs to women because:
a) it’s only fair;
b) it’s about time;
c) there’s nothing men can do in combat that women can’t; or
d) he hopes to save money by paying them less?
3. After announcing that he was going to donate 99 percent of his assets, or about $45 billion, to a charitable venture, Mark Zuckerberg was criticized because:
a) he’s greedy and didn’t give away 100 percent of his assets;
b) no support for Nigerian princes who offer a large payment in exchange for a short-term transfer of funds into a bank account;
c) people whose favorite causes do not fall within the scope of Zuckerberg’s stated interests are unhappy; or
d) it turns out that plenty of people actually CAN look a gift horse in the mouth?
4. A public school district in Virginia closed all of its schools after a teacher handed out an assignment about Islam because parents and school system leaders:
a) believe it is inappropriate for children to learn anything about Islam;
b) believe it was a blatant attempt to indoctrinate good Christian children in Sharia law;
c) are afraid third-graders will attack their classmates in the name of Allah; or
d) need time to bring in special counselors to de-program children of anything they might have learned?
5. For the first time since the end of World War II, Mein Kampf is being published in Germany because:
a) the German people need to see for themselves what a deranged mind Hitler had;
b) for better or worse, it was one of the most important books of the twentieth century and needs to be read and understood;
c) the book will be supplemented with commentary that the German people need to read and understand; or
d) with Greece, Spain, and Portugal continuing to have serious financial problems and looking especially vulnerable, the German government wants to give its citizens…options?
6. Evangelist Franklin Graham quit the Republican Party when it passed a budget bill that continues to fund Planned Parenthood because:
a) he is disappointed with Republicans;
b) he now thinks all Republicans are baby-killers;
c) he thinks he has a better chance of getting what he wants if he becomes a Democrat; or
d) ever since his son got his under-aged girlfriend pregnant he’s having second thoughts about the whole “abortion is bad” thing?
7. A norovirus outbreak that sickened more than 100 customers at a Chipotle restaurant in Boston has been attributed to:
a) contaminated food;
b) unsanitary food handling practices;
c) corporate sabotage by a competitor; or
d) the company’s decision to give some of its customers the kind of authentic dining experience they might get if they ate Mexican food in Mexico?
8. A California state employee who was suspended for making anti-Muslim slurs defended her actions by explaining that:
a) what she said is true;
b) she was simply exercising her right to free speech;
c) she’s tired of being politically correct and pretending there’s nothing wrong with Muslims; or
d) if presidential candidates can go on national television and make anti-Muslim slurs then why can’t she?
9. A Philadelphia congressman who also is the chairman of the Democratic Party in that city endorsed for re-election another Philadelphia congressman who has been charged with bribery, money-laundering, racketeering, and conspiracy to commit wire fraud, honest services fraud, bank fraud, and mail fraud because:
a) he doesn’t believe any of the charges;
b) a man’s innocent until proven guilty;
c) the charges aren’t that serious; or
d) this is America and everyone deserves a second chance?
10. The citizens of Guinea aren’t overly excited by the World Health Organization’s declaration that their country is now officially Ebola-free because:
a) more than 2500 people died from the disease;
b) the 1200 people who contracted the disease and survived still face the possibility of relapse and the social stigma of the disease;
c) all of the attention and resources the country received to help fight the disease and the poverty that facilitated its spread will now disappear; or
d) they’re still stuck in Guinea?