Uncle Mark Wants YOU!

Well, not YOU.

Or maybe you, too.

But definitely The Curmudgeon.

Only not the character; the actual person.

About once a week for the past two months or so, Mark Zuckerberg, accomplice of Russians attempting to undermine truth, justice, and the American way so he can make a little more money – because when you’re 33 years old and only worth about $70 billion you’re just too embarrassed to show your face at class reunions – appears on The Curmudgeon’s Facebook page asking The Curmudgeon to be a friend.

Or a follower. The Curmudgeon’s not sure. He doesn’t pay enough attention to Facebook to know the difference. But for the sake of discussion, let’s say it’s a follower.

And he’s a fashionplate, too!

Why Marky Mark’s interest in The Curmudgeon? The Curmudgeon has no idea. Maybe he reads this stuff. Most likely he doesn’t – after all, if it doesn’t help him make money, he probably doesn’t see the point.

Or maybe the problem is that in addition to feeling bad about underachieving financially he also feels as if he’s not fulfilling his potential for accumulating followers.

Because as of the last time Marky Mark contacted The Curmudgeon with this follower request he only had 98,890,673 followers.

But ambitious as he is, Marky Mark is gunning for 98,890,674.

Because nothing validates you as a person more than having legions of Facebook friends and followers.

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