For Your Viewing Pleasure

Forget HBO.

Cancel Netflix.

Say no no to Hulu.

Who needs Showtime.

Tell Amazon to take a hike.

Is Cinemax even still in business?

You won’t need any of them anymore because as of last Monday there’s a new viewing option:

Scientology TV.

Seriously: as the Curmudgeon Sister explained when she brought this to her brother’s attention, “Oh lord. Another sign of the apocalypse.”

Apparently, by self-declared popular demand, as the Scientology folks explain it on their web site:

The Church of Scientology has launched its own television channel—the Scientology Network. Its debut makes our programming instantly accessible to more than 20 million households across the United States and hundreds of millions more over the internet.

 Airing 24/7, the Scientology Network aims to satisfy the overwhelming curiosity about our religion as evidenced by the fact that someone searches online for “Scientology” every six seconds. The new network won’t just answer people’s questions, it will take them inside the religion itself.

To accomplish that, the network offers exclusive innovative content that moves religious broadcasting in an entirely new direction. Like Scientology itself, that approach is fresh, different and dynamic. It does not seek to preach, convince or convert, but simply inform.

This new genre of religious broadcasting includes original programs that take viewers into the everyday lives of Scientologists, the Church as an institution and its organizations. These programs show our religion in action, providing not just insights into the only major religion to emerge in the last century, but also offering a fresh take on compelling television entertainment demanded by today’s digital world.

And if you’re loyal viewers, Welcome Back Kotter reruns, too!

Scientology TV is offering six original series:

  • Inside Scientology—takes viewers behind the scenes of the religion—its international spiritual headquarters and cutting-edge publishing houses, what happens on a typical day at a Church of Scientology and the meticulous, painstaking efforts to preserve 75 million words of our Founder L. Ron Hubbard’s religious writings and recordings for future generations.
  • Meet a Scientologist—an in-depth look into the lives of individual Scientologists from the frontiers of modern art, science, sports, entertainment and more.
  • I am a Scientologist—features dozens of Scientologists from every corner of the world and every imaginable occupation, giving personal accounts of how their lives have been enriched.
  • Voices for Humanity—short documentaries introducing change-makers from all faiths, cultures and nations as they extend help to their communities through Scientology-sponsored humanitarian programs.
  • Destination: Scientology—each episode brings the viewer inside a new Church of Scientology, showcasing the diversity of our Churches and the cooperation that weaves every Church of Scientology into the local community fabric.
  • Ron Hubbard: In His Own Voice—presents the religion’s Founder to the world. Scientology remains the only major religion with the voice of its Founder intact, recorded in public lectures delivered over the course of a quarter-century. This series chronicles the life of L. Ron Hubbard through autobiographical vignettes in his own words and in his own voice.

“Weeeeeeeeee….”

In addition, Scientology TV is offering what it describes as films that explore beliefs and practices, a spotlight on a global humanitarian movement – that is, Scientology itself – and documentaries addressing the “truth about drugs,” human rights, and its own citizens commission on human rights, including an in-depth look at the fraud of psychiatry on which Tom Cruise revealed himself to be such an expert a few years back.

Scientology TV will start out on its own app as well as on Apple TV, Amazon Fire TV, and Roku.

So cancel that cable subscription now, pull up a chair, and get ready to be entertained by Scientology TV!

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