Let’s Go Catalogue Shopping

Despite the growth of internet commerce, some companies still like to fill their customers’ mailboxes with catalogues. In most cases, those catalogues probably go directly from the mailbox to the recycle bin (or the trash can, and if so, shame on you!). Other companies are jealous of their competitors’ internet business and buy lists of more successful vendors’ internet customers and send those people catalogues hoping to get a piece of that action for themselves.

The Curmudgeon occasionally buys clothing online, especially shirts, since he’s a sucker for shirts – sport shirts, polo shirts, sweat shirts, anything except t-shirts, which to him, no matter how nice the color or how clever the message, are still underwear and should only be worn in the home or beneath more appropriate clothing. But if you buy clothes online you can expect catalogues in your mailbox, and that’s how the catalogue of a men’s clothing company called Bullock & Jones landed in The Curmudgeon’s mailbox recently. The Curmudgeon, always on the lookout for a nice shirt, took the catalogue to his reading room and in so doing was rewarded with three or four of the most entertaining minutes he’s enjoyed in recent memory.

Some of Bullock & Jones’s stuff is nice and some is not so nice, but even the ever-opinionated Curmudgeon understands that this is a subjective matter of taste and not fact. What cannot be disputed, however, is that Bullock & Jones’s stuff is expensive: seriously expensive, extravagantly expensive, stupidly expensive, and ultimately, laughably expensive.

Don’t believe him? See for yourself with this quick tour of some of the highlights from the Bullock & Jones catalogue.

But please, put down that beverage first because when you laugh you don’t want it coming out through your nose.

It’s still a bit chilly out, so warm yourself with this Derek Rose Loopback Sweatshirt, yours for only $215. It comes only in gray.

Under that sweatshirt you have a choice of t-shirt colors with the Melange Short-Sleeve Crew Neck Tee-Shirt, only $90 – apiece, not for the complete assortment.

On those easy like Sunday mornings you’ll look especially sharp in these Stretch Denim Slacks, which you can purchase for $225. Doesn’t Haggar sell the same thing for $30?

You don’t want those stretch jeans falling down on you, though, so keep them up with this Hornback Crocodile Belt, yours for $475.

 

And let’s not forget your feet, which you can cover stylishly with these $26 stripe (no “d” at the end) cotton socks.

And on top of those oh-so-stylish socks, how about these $500 Lizard Penny Loafers? Let’s see you find THAT at Payless!

This is the Mark Stripe (again, no “d.” What do these people have against the letter d?) Linen Sport Coat, beyond ugly, not to mention its ugly price tag of $995 (gulp)!

Ordinarily you wouldn’t wear a tie with such a casual ensemble, but if you want to, this Silk Knit Flag Tie is the perfect complement at only $110, which is more than five times more than what The Curmudgeon has ever spent on any tie other than the one he wore to his own wedding, which was still less than half this price.

Once the weather gets warmer, show off those legs in this $185 pair of American Khaki Shorts.

If it’s ugly you’re after you’ll have to look far and wide to top this Azzuro Sartoriale Shirt, which is as overpriced at $345 as it is hideous.

Or for a more low-key look, you might opt for this irish linen polo, modestly priced at $295.

Finally, if you’re just plain cheap, go for this Viareggio Italian Pique Polo, only $135, although you can probably find something very similar to Kohl’s for about twenty bucks.

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