The Latest in Reality Television

TLC, the low-rent cable network that hasn’t presented anything of redeeming value since it shortened its name from “The Learning Channel,” thereby declaring its abandonment of any aspirations beyond simple titillation, has announced that come the fall it will unveil its latest attempt to lower our collective national IQ: a new show called Kate Plus Date.

The “Kate” is Kate Gosselin, she of Jon and Kate Plus 8 fame in which she and her equally defective husband share the travails of raising twin daughters and their sextuplets (that’s six young’uns at once, folks).

If you ever saw Jon and Kate Plus 8 or its sequel, Kate Plus 8 – Jon having fled the nut house for a life as, among other things, a restaurant host, a DJ, a male stripper, and others – you know that Kate Gosselin is more than a few gallons shy of a full tank.  She is a full-blown loon, and people only watch her, The Curmudgeon has long suspected, for the same reason they crane their necks at an auto accident or a fire or at two women punching each other or at the late Anna Nicole Smith’s similarly awful reality show:  because no matter how hard you try, it’s just so awful that you just can’t bring yourself to look away.

So, Kate, why date now?  The Curmudgeon turned to the always-reliable People magazine for answers:

“I’m nervous, I’m excited, and I’m forcing myself to do this,” Gosselin, who was married to ex-husband Jon for 10 years, tells PEOPLE about the upcoming docuseries.

And,

“As we’re talking about Mady and Cara going off to college which is becoming more and more of a reality, it’s gonna happen, it almost became like a worry for them, too, like ‘Mommy, you’re gonna be all alone soon,’ ” shares Gosselin. “But it was very apparent, now that they’re older and talking about dating and how they’re all gonna get married someday … it became apparent: they want someone for me. They want me to have somebody in my life.”

So Kate’s going to do it the old-fashioned way:

“If I’m going to date someone, I can’t just go out on a date — it’s creepy to me to think of just going out somewhere with some stranger, and so I actually feel like doing it like this is the best and safest way for me to go on a date — a camera crew will be there! I’ll be safe!” she says. “And the person will have been vetted by a matchmaker.”

The sore in your mouth that you can’t resist poking with your tongue

Gentlemen, a word of advice from The Curmudgeon: get your running shoes ready, and if some matchmaker comes to you and says “I have this blonde I think you might like to meet,” lace up those sneakers and run as fast as you can for as long as you can.

Coming to the little screen this fall:  Kate Plus Date.

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  • Peaches Shimmerdeep  On June 29, 2018 at 6:52 am

    Oy.

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