Tag Archives: Match.com

Mini-Rumination: Dating and the Language of Love

The Curmudgeon is single, and on occasion, he uses internet dating sites to try to find his true love.  The dating sites are a lot like a smorgasbord:  at first everything looks great and it’s a bit overwhelming, but after a while you start to see shortcomings everywhere.  One of the natural shortcomings is that all of the sites require people to share information about themselves, and after answering the check-off questions, people have to write.

Some people just can’t write.  Some clearly try, others clearly don’t, but the results in many cases are pretty terrible.

How bad can it be, you ask yourself.  Could The Curmudgeon be exaggerating – or perhaps holding others to an impossible standard because he’s comfortable writing?

Okay, don’t take his word for it.  Over the years, The Curmudgeon has held onto some of the incredible prose he has encountered on one site:  Match.com.  And before you think he had to search nation-wide to find all this horrid prose, understand that every example below was written by someone who falls within The Curmudgeon’s personal search parameters, which Match.com permits individuals to establish for themselves.  In this case, the following bon mots were contributed by women who are single, divorced, or widowed – no separated or married women; they are within six years of The Curmudgeon’s age; they live within 40 miles of Marlton, New Jersey, where The Curmudgeon lives; they have at least an associate degree; and they do not smoke.

So here, unedited, are the things women write about themselves in Match.com profiles to convince men they could be the woman of their dreams.

Enjoy

G WOMEN WITH MANY INTREST, That like exercise, ride horse, cook and loves to listen to the rain. I like to travel . I like someone to share this with me.

LOOKING FOR A STONG MAN THAT IS A GENTELMEN. THAT IS KIND AND OLD FASHION. WHO KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A LADY.

i am 52 black i beiive i am petty i have a nices smile and i love to hold hands with my special someone that and to listen to music and to be hold and so one that like to be romance and no how to show there lady a good time and like to go to church and love the lord and like to go to plays ,movies.dinning out music and quite time and going away on trips.

DISNEY WORLD, IS A MAGIC PLACE IT BRING BACK THE KID IN YOU AND IT SO MUCH TO DO AND I LIKE ARUB IT A NICES PLACE TO GO WITH WITH THAT PECIAL SOME ONE.

I am a hard working sexing working person. I love to run my toes on the sand on the beach and also love to dance. I also love to go to dinner and watch a nice movie with a nice looking guy with me on the cough

i would like to meet someone to do things with . its always more fun when you make knew friends

I fellowship with friends and family. Window shop, travel, take up a movie or museum, threatre. go walking in the park an just chill lax in my home.

I Love The Lord And Don’t Mind Saying It. I’m All Woman And Real. Positive Outgoing Sista who Loves To Be Around Positive People. Honest, Loyal, Trustworthy, And Straight-To-The-Point Are A Few Of My Characteristics. I Come With No ACTIVE Baggage, Drama, Hangups, Or Issue. I Love Hard And Serious. I Belong to You and Only You!!! Women Thou Art Loosed!! Men Understand That I Am Already Complete & Delivered!! Just Because No One Has Been Fortunate Enough To Realize What A Gold Mine I am, Doesn’t Mean I Shine Anyless. Just Because No One Has Been Smart Enough To Figure Out That I Can’t Be Stopped, Doesn’t Stop Me From Being The Best. Just Because No One Has Come Along To Share My Life, Doesn’t Mean That Day Isn’t Coming. Just Because No One Has Made This Race WorthWhile, Doesn’t Mean I’m Going To Stop Running. Just Because No One Has Realized How Much Of A Real Woman I Am, Doesn’t Mean They Can Affect My Feminity & Spiritually. Just Because No One Has Come To Take The Aloneness Away, Doesn’t Mean I Have To Settle For A Low Quality. Just Because No One Has Shown Up Who Can Love Me On My Level, Doesn’t Mean I Have To Sink To Theirs. Just Because I Deserve The Very Best There Is, Doesn’t Mean That Life Is Always Fair. Just Because My Situation Doesn’t Seem To Be Progressing Right Now, Doesn’t Mean I Need Change A Thing. Just Because God Is Still Preparing My King, Doesn’t Mean That I’m Not Already A Special Queen. I’ll Keep Shining, Keep Running, Keep Hoping, Keep Trusting, And Keep Praying, I’ll Just Keep Being Exactly What I Already. Am “COMPLETE IN HIM!!!My Potential Mate Has To Be One Who Is SAVED And Loves The Lord. One Must Be GROUNDED In The Word And Manifested In His Walk On A Daily Basic. He Is Beside Himself With Passion. Knows Who He Is And Does Not Need To Be Validated. Someone Not Perfect But Perfectly Suitable For Me. A MAN WHO IS EQUAL IN ALL DOMAINS!!! 3 DEMENSIONAL!!! MY LIFE & YOKEMATE!!!!I believe were all intittled to our own beliefs, but I won’t shove my belief’s down someone’s throat.

I have a dichotomy of interests

Really like to shop put me in a mall and I, can get lost for hours.

Love fine dineing like a salad bar

Now that I started to type this I still can not believe that I am doing this add.

I am a Pollack

fun loving single friend looking for a honest man, who know how to treat a lady ,I have a great sense of humor love to cook ,and fix things around the house , don’t want player’s so if you up for games keep moving ,family is important to me. I work hard ,love hard so if you ready for a real lady step in to my web .

This is all very new to me, so bare with me.

My idea of a great time is spontaneously hoping a train to New York and painting the town or checking out a museum.

You must be a sound sleeper, I have been known to fart in my sleep!

My favorite place to visit locally would be Florida.

Although I have no true affilication to one church at this time, I believe there is one God and many ways to worship Him.

Life is very important to me, and waisting it on senseless dating, is boring.

cooking…is definately not my strong suite

beach2run is looking too meet an althletic freespirted friend too spend time doing outdoor activities, have fun and relax with

Hi. Thanks for stoping bye!!!!!!!

INTELLIGEMCE ENTICES ME AND WISDOM AROUSES ME.

Artsy , messy but classy me , looking for that jazzy, knolgebele and secure personality.

Loving , attractive, inteligent mom.

Its amasing how life actually… makes you stronger.

My fun unloding time is usualy a fun movie or listen to music, which is usualy light classic, romantic sounds of Sara Brightman or Barbara Straisand.

Maybe you understand that A woman can be sexy, funny, dance all night, love to cuddle, and still bare the name of Jesus.

I am not looking for a savor to come along, nor am I that savor either.

I’m at a small technology start up and where many hats.

Yes, you would be honored to have a date with me!

I am an intellegent, funny, full figured woman with no hang-ups or presumed opinions.

I graduated from Wilfred Acamedy in Toms River

Mom and animal lover looking for … mabey, you!!!!!

I am a general assistant manager in a convienient store.

i dont actively practice my religion but would like to.

and I hope you be sincerly, and honest, I like the healthy people, fisical and emocioly too. If you want somenthing especial traied to know

I haven’t read anyhting outside of work related material in the last year but do like a good mystery with either historical references or based loosely on a fictional situation.

I can be a bit of a spite fire at times, I want man who can put up w/ my shit LOL.

My perfect match and i compliment each other and would rather do nothing than be with each other

iwould like someone to enjoy life with. adentuture dancinig time with firiends cooking at home quiet time readinf good  family time enjoy shopping explore new restraunt new cities playing bourd games ammusement rides walk with dog meeting new people home remodeling long talks about life attending school part time listening to music

Experiece the advertures in life!!

I don’t like complicating people and am looking for someone who’s looking for a committed relationship than just a “good time”.

Along with having a relationship, you need to make the time to deticate yourself as I will.

Big, Beautiful and Pleasrious Women!!!!

If u dont like big boned women then get off my profile!!

I am not really into the bar seen

Iam a very loving and secere person, and I don’t pull no punches.

I AM 39 YEARS OLD.. I HAVE 1 SIXTEEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO IS NOW VERY SELF SAFICANT. IAM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS NOT JELOUS OR POSSESIVE.DO TO I AM A MASSAG THERAPIST.I NEED TOTAL TRUST… I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS NOT AFRAID OF HIS FEELING. AND IT REALLY TURNS ME ON WHEN MY MAN KNOWS WHEN WE ARE OUT OF THINGS IN THE HOUSE…AND PICKS THEM UP…BEING HANDY IS ALSO A BIG TURN ON…IF YOU BELIEVE IN ME AND MY DREAMS.AND YOU ARE PASSIONATE, FAITHFUL, AND FAMILY OREANTED…AND DONT LIKE DRAMA PLEASE CONTACT ME..I WOULD LIK TO HEAR FROM YOU..

I have been in an admininstrative support roll for many years and many jobs and I do love it.

Grace Kelly meets Meg Ryan. That’s pretty much me. Classy and cooky.

I ENJOY DANCING & MUSIC BEING A HUGE INTEREST.

I love to travel out of the country and hope to one day make it to Hawaii.

I’m a christain, who loves the Lord. I’m out going, witty, who has a sense of humor. I’m sentitive, caring and a good listener. I love my quite times and I like going to the movies and out to dinner.

I know that there’s problary more that I can say but at this time I am experiencing a writer’s block

As for clothing I lean towards the sexier side . High heals and tight jeans.

i am a conasuier of coffee… did i spell that right ??

I was bore in Canada (Montreal, Quebec) yes I am Canadian and proud of it, most people who know don’t know it yet.

Sounds a little corney doesn’t it, but I truly believe in “KISMIC”.

I guess you submised I enjoy dancing (slow, 70’s & club).

As a mother of one child for which I am very close to, he would have to be able to be a friend ,not a father to him.

I love riding Harley Davison’s shooting pool Iam very down to earth easy going. Iam not high maintance. Jean’s and a shirt. I can dress up when need! I love the water sailing motor boating car shows doing bike runs watching movies or just sitting by a fire BBQ just love being outdoors! I have to great boy’s 14 and 17 very proud mother. Oldest is national honor roll and my youngest is ab honor roll. Looking for easy going guy who likes the out doors strong but sensative. hard worker willing to try anything spontaneous, adventurous, great sence of humor!

My perfect match would compliment my high strung salesman’s personality. He would make me feel femine and cared for not competetive. He would be interesting with alot of opions, not just ones that agree with mine but his own.

IM A VERY SWEET LADY, VERY HARD WORKER, LOVELY AT ALL THE TIME. SINCERELY ,I LIKE DANCE, SING IN OTHER WORD VERY VERY SWEETT.IM VERY GENEROUSES WITH MY NEIGHBOR AND VERY HELPER WITH ALL THOSE PEOPLES THAT NEED MY HELP. I LIKE TO GO TO THE CHURCH, I DONT SMOKE CAUSE I QUIT AROUND THREE YEARS AGO. I DONT LIKE ANY KIND OF DRINKS. ACCEPT IN ANY SPECIAL OCCASSION.

I’m a outgoing person who loves to have fun. I’m into any winter sports, love to watch DALLAS KICK EAGLES BUTT, I like being around people and quit nights at home. I’m not petty or caddy, I’m very understanding and caring.